How could I forget a day that for 10 years of my life was celebrated with joy and love - everything from a surprise party to a kitchen full of gag gifts for the big 6-0. But last year was a different story – one year ago today you were nursing quite a hangover from a hot night out with your buddies while I was packing up my stuff to move out of my home for good. One year ago today you were bullying me to sign the divorce papers – even threatening to not letting me move “a damned thing” out of the house until I signed the papers. I thought you were just being a cruel and hateful pig but it turns out that you just wanted to get away with only forking out $1000 to end the marriage.
Hard to believe that it’s been a year since you calmly told me that “no crying, no begging and no stunts” would make you change your mind about a divorce. I did cry and beg – but not to you or for you to change your mind. I cried out to God to help me move through the pain and learn to live my life again. There was almost “a stunt” but God stepped in and prevented me from hurting myself but most of all my family.
But despite all the crap you threw at me and said to others about me, I have forgiven you. Oh don’t get me wrong – I’ll NEVER forget what you did or how you treated me. Those were valuable lessons that I will carry with me forever – but I have forgiven you. You see that was the only way I could truly open my heart to God and move ahead with my life. By not forgiving you, I was simply stuck in the nightmare and would end up a bitter shell of me. I would not and could not give you that power over me, so I had to forgive you. It wasn’t easy and it took a while – there were steps backward usually caused by something you said or did that got back to me. Those slings and arrows hurt but they didn’t stop me from moving forward.
Yes – I’ve even prayed FOR you (not against you like you would think). I’ve prayed that you would ask God to forgive your sins and take Him into your heart. It makes me sad to think that you could end up not enjoying the pleasures of living in Heaven when your time on this earth is finished. Believe it or not I don’t wish for you to spend eternity roasting in Hell.
So this is my birthday wish for you – may you find the strength to turn your life over to God and accept His unconditional love. May He show you that happiness comes from within and searching for it outwardly only leads to pain and, in turn, causes you to inflict pain on others. May God keep you as the apple of his eye.
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