Contested Divorce in Georgia? Hurry Up and Wait!

A divorce can stir up all kinds of emotions – especially anger, stress and anxiety. Just about any emotion known to man can be whipped into a frenzy by a divorce. As if that avalanche of emotions was not enough, the legal process of a divorce only adds to the disaster – especially if it is a contested divorce. If at all possible, it’s best to come to a settlement without the court getting involved.

But, as in my case with TheColdOne, there was no other alternative left for me. If your soon-to-be-ex is hiding assets,refusing to pay you a fair amount or not providing the documentation needed, a contested divorce is your only alternative.

The Courts may order mediation but it was a waste of time for my situation. In almost 2 years, I could not get TheColdOne to agree to a fair settlement. Why would sitting down with a mediator make any difference? I was right and it ended up costing me $200 for the mediator and $1500 in attorney’s fees for the waste of time.

So we ended up going to court. It took over 6 months to get a court date. My attorney was going out on maternity leave at the end of Feb 2010 so we sent a letter to the Court in January asking that the case be scheduled as soon after the maternity leave as possible (the maternity leave ended the last week in April). Numerous letters and phone calls – from my attorney and TheColdOne’s attorney – had no effect. The case was finally scheduled for August 30. As Murphy’s Law would have it, my witnesses would be on an Alaskan Cruise on that date (the cruise was scheduled a year prior) so we agreed to re-schedule the hearing. It was re-scheduled for September 22.

Keep in mind that during this waiting period, my attorney fees were adding up. Every time the attorney called the court, emailed me, wrote a letter, etc trying to get the case scheduled in was an additionalexpense. Couple that with the fact that TheColdOne refused to turn over documentation and most of the research into his financial status was done by my side, and you have quite a hefty legal bill.

The day of the hearing finally arrived and it went as well as can be expected. It took almost 4 hours for both side to present their case. When my attorney completed her closing argument, the judge stated that he was granting the divorce, restoring my name to my maiden name but he was going to review the documentation. He stated that a written settlement would be communicated via the attorneys involved.

That was over 1 month ago and the settlement order has yet to be issued. I may be divorced but have no documentation to prove it. I am back to my maiden name but can’t legally change any of my identification until I have the signed order. Not to mention that I have no idea if I am getting any settlement money so my financial status remains in limbo with a bill for legal fees staring at my face. I don’t even want to bring up the anxiety and stress that this waiting for a settlement has heaped on my shoulders.

According to the Uniform Superior Court Rules for the State of GA, Rule 8.1 Scheduling of Trials clearly states that “…it is the intendment of these rules that no matter be allowed to languish, and the assigned judge is responsible for the orderly movement and disposition of all matters.” I think a delay of over 6 months would qualify as “languishing” and certainly doesn’t pass the “orderly movement” clause.

The Georgia Code of Judicial Conduct states that “Judges shall dispose of all judicial matters fairly,promptly and efficiently.” The commentary underneath this conduct item clearly states that “…judges must demonstrate due regard for the rights of the parties to be heard and to have issues resolved without unnecessary cost or delay.” I think the judge responsible for my case should get a “doesn’t meet expectations” mark on his evaluation for this item.

There is truly no excuse for the multiple delays in getting my divorce resolved. January 8, 2011 will mark the 2 year anniversary of the day TheColdOne decided he wanted his freedom. I certainly hope that I don’t have to wait that long to finally get closure on the disaster that was my marriage.

It's Official - The Hearing is Over!!!

A big old WHEW - the divorce hearing is over. It was uncomfortable and aggravating but enlightening and eye-opening.  It's amazing how someone you have been married to for over 10 years (12 if you count the 2 years we've been separated) can be such a stranger.  I'm still shocked at how 2 years can give you some perspective.  Instead of pining away upon seeing him, I thought "what did I ever see in him?" and "why did I waste 10 years of my life with such a troll?" 

Still don't have the divorce settlement - the judge is going to review the documents and issue a written settlement.  I'm just hoping it's enough to cover my attorney's fees.  This was never about "getting back" at TheColdOne or trying to take all his money - it was simply about fairness and standing up to a heartless bully who never had anyone fight back against him.

Oh and by the way, since TheColdOne likes to check this blog every day or so to see if I've said anything about him, here is a direct message to him...

I may have been getting "rounder and rounder" while fighting depression but I can lose the weight.  You, on the other hand, cannot change your lying black heart or the ugliness that is your soul. One day you will be called on to explain the hateful and evil things you have said and done - And you won't be able to hide that from The One who will be demanding an explanation!

In the meantime, I'm popping the cork on the champagne tonight and we're having a mighty celebration!  CHEERS!

The Freedom Bus is Warming Up

Yippee!!!  The divorce hearing has been officially scheduled for September 22.  It didn't take as long to get it rescheduled from Aug 30 as I thought it would.  I figured I would be waiting until Christmas.

Finally there is a light at the end of the nightmare tunnel.  I will be able to slam the damn door on the nightmare of the past 12 years and get back to living my life on my terms. Just the smell of freedom from TheColdOne makes me giddy.

I know that the hearing itself will be hard.  I have not had to look at the face of TheColdOne in almost 2 years which has been quite a blessing. The length of time is definitely a benefit for me - my heart and my head have had a chance to heal and it has allowed me to look back at the marriage with eyes wide open.  I am not looking forward to having to testify but I am not afraid of the truth so it will be easy.  I won't have to try to remember what answer I put down on my interrogatory since my answers were completely truthful.  Can't slip up if you don't tell a fib. I know that I will get teary - it's hard to admit that you were such a fool for loving such an absolute toad.

I'm going to have all my prayer warriors working hard that day to ensure that my heart and my head are focused and steady.  I know that whatever the outcome is, it is God's will - not mine or anyone elses.  I will just be grateful for the freedom. And I know someone else who has been looking as forward to this as I have - wink wink - and I ain't talking about TheColdOne. Hang tight - we're almost there!!!