A divorce can stir up all kinds of emotions – especially anger, stress and anxiety. Just about any emotion known to man can be whipped into a frenzy by a divorce. As if that avalanche of emotions was not enough, the legal process of a divorce only adds to the disaster – especially if it is a contested divorce. If at all possible, it’s best to come to a settlement without the court getting involved.
But, as in my case with TheColdOne, there was no other alternative left for me. If your soon-to-be-ex is hiding assets,refusing to pay you a fair amount or not providing the documentation needed, a contested divorce is your only alternative.
The Courts may order mediation but it was a waste of time for my situation. In almost 2 years, I could not get TheColdOne to agree to a fair settlement. Why would sitting down with a mediator make any difference? I was right and it ended up costing me $200 for the mediator and $1500 in attorney’s fees for the waste of time.
So we ended up going to court. It took over 6 months to get a court date. My attorney was going out on maternity leave at the end of Feb 2010 so we sent a letter to the Court in January asking that the case be scheduled as soon after the maternity leave as possible (the maternity leave ended the last week in April). Numerous letters and phone calls – from my attorney and TheColdOne’s attorney – had no effect. The case was finally scheduled for August 30. As Murphy’s Law would have it, my witnesses would be on an Alaskan Cruise on that date (the cruise was scheduled a year prior) so we agreed to re-schedule the hearing. It was re-scheduled for September 22.
Keep in mind that during this waiting period, my attorney fees were adding up. Every time the attorney called the court, emailed me, wrote a letter, etc trying to get the case scheduled in was an additionalexpense. Couple that with the fact that TheColdOne refused to turn over documentation and most of the research into his financial status was done by my side, and you have quite a hefty legal bill.
The day of the hearing finally arrived and it went as well as can be expected. It took almost 4 hours for both side to present their case. When my attorney completed her closing argument, the judge stated that he was granting the divorce, restoring my name to my maiden name but he was going to review the documentation. He stated that a written settlement would be communicated via the attorneys involved.
That was over 1 month ago and the settlement order has yet to be issued. I may be divorced but have no documentation to prove it. I am back to my maiden name but can’t legally change any of my identification until I have the signed order. Not to mention that I have no idea if I am getting any settlement money so my financial status remains in limbo with a bill for legal fees staring at my face. I don’t even want to bring up the anxiety and stress that this waiting for a settlement has heaped on my shoulders.
According to the Uniform Superior Court Rules for the State of GA, Rule 8.1 Scheduling of Trials clearly states that “…it is the intendment of these rules that no matter be allowed to languish, and the assigned judge is responsible for the orderly movement and disposition of all matters.” I think a delay of over 6 months would qualify as “languishing” and certainly doesn’t pass the “orderly movement” clause.
The Georgia Code of Judicial Conduct states that “Judges shall dispose of all judicial matters fairly,promptly and efficiently.” The commentary underneath this conduct item clearly states that “…judges must demonstrate due regard for the rights of the parties to be heard and to have issues resolved without unnecessary cost or delay.” I think the judge responsible for my case should get a “doesn’t meet expectations” mark on his evaluation for this item.
There is truly no excuse for the multiple delays in getting my divorce resolved. January 8, 2011 will mark the 2 year anniversary of the day TheColdOne decided he wanted his freedom. I certainly hope that I don’t have to wait that long to finally get closure on the disaster that was my marriage.
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