There are 3 little words that can change your life. No - I'm not talking about "I love you". The life changing words are "I am sorry". Simple phrase - not difficult to pronounce but it carries such a punch that it can change the course of your entire life.
In this crazy screwed up world where responsibility and accountability are nothing more than talking points for politicians, we all seem to have forgotten how to apologize. How many times have you heard "I'm sorry if what I said offended some people"? That is nothing more than a half-baked way of saying that you know you offended some people without really taking any responsibility for what you said.
How would your life be different if someone had bothered to tell you that they were sorry? I know that events in my life would have been different had TheColdOne ever uttered those 3 little words. I can't recall him ever saying he was sorry or asking for my forgiveness for the things he did to hurt me. (Although he did say "I'm sorry - it's over" when he told me he was filing for divorce). When I caught him running around with his ex-wife behind my back, I ended up getting blamed for it. I was not making him happy, yada yada yada. My favorite excuse was "You should have trusted me enough not to go checking on my emails". HAH - talk about deflecting the blame.
Even when I was in the hospital after my attempted suicide (or as TheColdOne called it in court - "the attention seeking stunt" or the "so-called suicide attempt"), TheColdOne didn't apologize. He just kept saying "I want my old Robin back". Little did he know but the "old Robin" was dead - he killed her with his lack of respect and responsibility. But a simple "I am sorry" could have injected some air into my lungs and brought me back to life - at least that is what my 20/20 hindsight says.
The biggest downside to this failure to apologize is that those of us due the apology end up taking on the blame for the situation. Familiar phrases like "If only I had..." or "I need to behave in this way..." ends up fueling the guilt which after a while ends up dragging us down into a depression. Don't get me wrong - I'm not saying that depression is caused by one incident - it is usually a pattern of behaviors over a period of time can trigger a depressive episode. As the depression worsens, you end up shouldering even more of the blame and taking responsibility for everything which only adds fuel to the fire. It's a damned horrific vicious cycle. In my case, TheColdOne's "never apologize" attitude literally sucked the joy out of my life and left me a shell of the person I once was.
Saying "I am sorry" is also a great way to start the forgiveness chain rolling - it's much harder for someone to harbor anger in their heart when you have truly apologized. Sadly there are many people, including TheColdOne, who will never understand the importance of those 3 little words. They'll keep offending people and shoving the blame over onto them until eventually they end up alone in a nursing home with no visitors. But in order for you to live a full and healthy life, forgive you must - even if there is no apology.
So "man up" people (or "woman up" to be politically correct) - accept the responsibility for your actions. Prove that you are accountable for what comes spewing out of your mouth. Say those 3 little words that mean so much to people. I guarantee you that your life will be much better for it.
May God continue to bless you all.
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