The US divorce rate for second marriages is from 60% to 67%.
After 3 marriages the US divorce rate is from 73% to 74%.
Those statistics literally blew me out of the water. I would have thought that after the first marriage ended in divorce, people would be more selective about their next partner and more wise about relationships. But obviously that is not true.
Why do so many subsequent marriages end in divorce? Could it be that after the trauma of the first divorce people are just looking for someone to reaffirm their belief in "happily ever after"? Is it the case of too high expectations coupled with the reality of day to day living? Maybe it is just some of us have a screwed up "mate picker" and fall for the first person who sweeps us off our feet?
In my case, I truly believed TheColdOne was my soulmate. When we took our vows, I actually believed the part about "til death do us part". For TheColdOne, based on his rantings at the end of our marriage, the vows actually meant "until I feel too tied down" or "until something better comes along." I know that I did my part to contribute to the collapse of the marriage and accept that responsibility. Suffering from long term chronic depression certainly didn't help matters. BUT it's hard to keep a marriage working when less than a month after the wedding you discover that your ColdOne was still communicating with his ex-wife and lying to you about it - not to mention the subsequent "special meetings" with "discussions" about tan lines and such.
I wish I had known about the divorce statistics before I made the leap into a mistake of Biblical proportions. Based on the statistics, the marriage was doomed from the start - especially since I was wife #4. That is no excuse but it certainly makes the sting of the divorce a little less personal and more of an expected outcome.
I will certainly keep those stats in mind as I continue my trek through single-hood. Especially now that I will be in the 3rd marriage category. It does give me a chuckle though - who ever falls for TheColdOne's schtick about "never being loved" and "being the answer to his prayers" is screwed before she becomes #5.
Divorce statistics, although they only tell half of the story, serves as a good basis on how your marriage measures up in comparison to other marriages. Of course, try to make everything work first and exhaust every possible option left before finally divorcing your spouse. Good luck.
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