One of the best things to do when you're going through a crisis is to start keeping a journal. I wish I had kept a journal on a regular basis from the time I turned 18 - talk about reflections - whew the stories that journal would hold. It doesn't have to be a daily rehash of everything and every conversation, thought, etc. It can be simply one word - whatever you are feeling at that moment. You'll be surprised at how far you have come when you re-read your entries even 6 months from now.
Your journal doesn't have to be a fancy cloth covered book - it can be a simple spiral notebook bought at the dollar store (now my favorite place to shop). Just make sure you date every entry so you have a timeline. At first it will seem like a chore but make an honest committment to yourself to at least write something every day. You'll be surprised at how quickly it will become a habit.
Another benefit of keeping a journal - it can come in very handy should your divorce end up in mediation or court. Remember when your ex-to-be said "you're not moving a damn thing out of this house until you sign the papers"? Of course you'll never forget the emotions tied to that remark but if you've kept your journal you will have a date to go along with it. Be very careful though - I'm no legal expert but I would definitely discuss the journal issue with your attorney. You should be safe there - attorney/client priviledge and all that.
One of the things that I did was keep a little book where I wrote down statements from readings that struck a chord with me. I also included Bible verses in this little book. My kids called it the "Uh-Oh Momma's Having a Bad Day Book" because whenever I would get really down or stressed, I would pull out the book and start reading. It really helped me focus and gave me an instant burst of motivation. Over the years, I've had friends/family go through divorce or a personal crisis and needed a pick-me-up. I would go to the store - buy an inexpensive blank book and copy some of the pertinent and favorite statements and verses into the blank book for them. I would give them this book and tell them to fill it in with their favorites and pass it along to someone else in need when the time came. It is truly a special gift.
Here's a couple of verses and statements from my book to get you started...
"You can't stop the waves but you can learn how to surf"
"Trying to figure out what went wrong is like trying to drive backward to undo a car accident"
"A dry crust eaten in peace is better than steak everyday along with argument and strife." Proverbs 17:1
"As a dog returns to his vomit, so a fool repeats his folly" Proverbs 26:11
"It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man" Psalms 118:8
An interesting note about my "book" - after TheColdOne dropped the divorce bombshell on me, I went searching for my book. I turned the place upside down - I hadn't used or needed the book in years (or so I thought). I could not find it anywhere. The first weekend after the bombshell I went to stay with my parents and look for a place to live. When I got home on Monday morning, TheColdOne had removed all my personal items from the bookcases in the den and piled them on the floor (he couldn't wait to exterminate any sign of my presence). Sitting right on top of the pile was my "book". Now tell me that God doesn't work in mysterious ways.....
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