Rest in Peace Robin B.

Robin B. died on January 8, 2009. Gone was the woman with a quick smile and easy laugh. Gone was the one with a ready come-back to a smart ass question. Gone was the woman who had fallen head over heels in love with her husband almost at first sight 10 years before. Gone was the woman with a heart so big and full of love that she would forgive anything just to keep her marriage and home intact. Gone was the woman who stood in front of God and her family and promised “til death do us part” 10 years earlier. 

It wasn’t a natural death. It was a death brought on by years of mental cruelty and heartlessness. It was preceded by years of lying and cheating coupled with put-downs and personal attacks. The years of orders to “suck it up” and “get a hobby” had taken their toll. An earlier brush with death, in the form of a suicide attempt, should have been a warning to Robin B. but she just kept on living with the evil that had pushed her near the breaking point once before.

The death blow came at a moment when Robin B. was already on her knees and in a weakened state. The “murderer” couldn’t have picked a better time to deliver the final punch. There was no remorse on the part of the one who picked this time to crush Robin – just a sense of his own freedom in his selfish perverted world of “me first”.

She never saw it coming. She thought that a trip to the Psychiatrist and a new prescription would protect her. Robin naively thought that love would save the day. She was caught completely off guard. She walked right into the death trap with her heart on a silver platter. The fiend disguised as her husband just threw her heart on the floor and smashed it with the sole of his hunting boot. He never looked back – he just stepped over the carnage as he moved on.

But all was not lost. Like the proverbial Phoenix rising from the ashes, a new Robin was born. This Robin took a while to pull herself together into a whole being. The transformation was not pretty – it was bloody and tear-filled with lots of wailing and cries out for help. It was only after the muddled mess of humanity cried out to God in utter despair that the pieces started taking shape. It wasn’t just one cry to God – it was many. It wasn’t just a simple cry – it was a scream that came from the very depths of her soul. When she gave up fighting on her own and turned everything over to God, the new Robin began to take shape.

The new Robin is still in the midst of transformation. There have been several glitches and “do-overs” that required more tears and attitude adjustments in order to get back on the right track. She is so very far from perfect and will only reach perfection when her real time on this earth is complete. She has scars but they only serve to remind her of the battles she has fought and won with God at her side. There is one thing that is firmly entrenched in this battle scarred woman – a firm knowledge that no matter what any human may do, she is wholly and unconditionally loved by her Father. And THAT gives her the reason to continue to push through the pain of transformation and into her new life.

May God Bless You All.