After a long 2 1/2 years, the door has finally closed on my marriage. It has been a rough 2 1/2 years - lots of tears and lots of emotion. Lots of ups and lots of downs. Lots of worrying and anxiety. But now - thanks to the judge issuing the Final Order of Divorce, it is all over and done with. Amazing that it only takes a 4 page document to end the battle.
There are no words to describe the utter and total relief that overwhelmed me when I received the copy of the Final Order. It wasn't just the amount of money awarded to me - it was more of having closure - that one last loose end was firmly tied off and finished. It was also a sense of vindication - I knew I deserved more than TheColdOne was offering. I knew that I had contributed a lot more to the marriage than he was willing to acknowledge. The Judge's final ruling only confirmed that.
I have to give all thanks and glory to God. Without His continuous presence around me and feeling His unconditional love, I would not have made it to this point. I must admit I questioned Him a LOT while waiting for the final decree. I tried to figure out why it was taking so long and what message God was sending me. Once again I learned to just let it go and let God do His job - He has a plan and there is no point trying to figure it out ahead of time. There was nothing "special" about the date the final order was issued. I didn't do anything different that day. I didn't wake up thinking - today is the day. It was just the time God had determined.
Of course I also have to thank my Mom and Dad, my kids and my host of friends & family for being rocks for me to hang onto during this time. I have learned that there is nothing more important than my family and that I should cherish each and every moment I get to spend with them.
So now it's onward and upward. I went to a pool party Friday night and we cracked open the bottle of champagne that I had saved from my wedding to TheColdOne. I had saved it for us to pop open on our tenth anniversary but we forgot about it. When I moved out, I found it in my closet. It was been sitting here at my house, unopened, waiting for the final decree to come down. The now empty bottle is sitting on my kitchen counter waiting for me to decide on a special place for it. It will always a symbol of my fight to get what I deserve.
That's the best thing about this whole ordeal. I never dreamed that I would have the courage to fight to the end and not give up when the going got tough. When I moved out, I was a shell of a human being - so emotionally fragile that even I wondered if I could get through this. Now I am stronger and have much more confidence in myself. Heck I am far from perfect and never will be, but I know now that with God and my family at my side, I can get through anything.
Over the next couple of weeks, I will be posting some information and tips from my experience through this. Even my attorney doubted that we would get the amount the judge awarded but she stood and fought right along with me. I've learned a lot and hopefully you will find some of it useful.
In the meantime, I am still in a sense of euphoria and relief. I don't think I've been this relaxed in 13 1/2 years - and that's without any Xanax. Life is good and God is great!
God bless you!
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