There is nothing more detestable to me than someone that is a liar, especially one that tells lies in order to gain sympathy for themself. It never ceases to amaze me how someone can just tell multiple lies and go on about their life with no remorse. There is no conscience - no accountability and no responsibility. Odds are this person is quite adept at playing the victim. Sure it may get them a bit of happiness or even some money, but at what cost?
These people are usually the ones that claim anyone that says something less than kind about them is a liar. They can't handle the truth even when confronted face to face - like say, in a courtroom. They keep pointing fingers at everyone else claiming THEY are the wronged one. Morons feel sorry for the Liar - they just can't understand why people speak so mean about such a good hearted person. These vessels of sympathy deserve just as much scorn as the liars themselves.
Frankly I have no sympathy for someone that chooses to live the life of a liar. Whatever result they end up with is well deserved. One thing is for certain - when they reach the pearly gates, they will not be able to lie their way out of their punishment.
When you are confronted with a liar your first reaction is anger - you just want to put your fist through the face of the evil one. Dear Brothers and Sisters - don't give the liar the satisfaction of knowing that they are able to still control your emotions. The best thing to do is turn away and say a prayer for the liar - pray that they realize their mistakes and ask for forgiveness before it is too late. There is nothing you can do to embarrass or degrade this liar - they are doing it to themselves and will take down all those around them. Let go and let God handle them - when you quit trying to fight the battles, you open the door for God to fight them for you. And dear one, He most certainly will fight for you.
Read Psalm 109:1-20 if you are still having anger issues...
My God, whom I praise, do not remain silent
for people who are wicked and deceitful
have opened their mouths against me;
they have spoken against me with lying tongues.
With words of hatred they surround me, they attacked me without cause.
In return for my friendship they accuse me,but I am a man of prayer.
They repay me evil for good, and hatred for my friendship.
Appoint someone evil to oppose my enemy;
let an accuser stand at his right hand.
When he is tried, let him be found guilty, and may his prayers condemn him.
May his days be few;
may another take his place of leadership.
May his children be fatherless and his wife a widow.
May his children be wandering beggars;
may they be driven from their ruined homes.
May a creditor seize all he has;
may strangers plunder the fruits of his labor.
May no one extend kindness to him or take pity on his fatherless children.
May his descendants be cut off, their names blotted out from the next generation.
May the iniquity of his fathers be remembered before the Lord;
May the sin of his mother never be blotted out.
May their sins always remain before the LORD, that he may blot out their name from the earth
For he never thought of doing a kindness, but hounded to death the poor and the needy and the brokenhearted.
He loved to pronounce a curse - may it come on him.
He found no pleasure in blessing - may it be far from him.
He worse cursing as his garment;
it entered into his body like water, into his bones like oil.
May it be like a cloak wrapped about him, like a belt tied forever around him.
May this be the LORD"s payment to my accuser, to those who speak evil of me.
There now - you should feel a bit better.
And writing a tell-all book about the liar and his lies that includes pictures certainly doesn't hurt either. Wink-Wink...
May God Bless You!
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Rest in Peace Robin B.
Robin B. died on January 8, 2009. Gone was the woman with a quick smile and easy laugh. Gone was the one with a ready come-back to a smart ass question. Gone was the woman who had fallen head over heels in love with her husband almost at first sight 10 years before. Gone was the woman with a heart so big and full of love that she would forgive anything just to keep her marriage and home intact. Gone was the woman who stood in front of God and her family and promised “til death do us part” 10 years earlier.
It wasn’t a natural death. It was a death brought on by years of mental cruelty and heartlessness. It was preceded by years of lying and cheating coupled with put-downs and personal attacks. The years of orders to “suck it up” and “get a hobby” had taken their toll. An earlier brush with death, in the form of a suicide attempt, should have been a warning to Robin B. but she just kept on living with the evil that had pushed her near the breaking point once before.
The death blow came at a moment when Robin B. was already on her knees and in a weakened state. The “murderer” couldn’t have picked a better time to deliver the final punch. There was no remorse on the part of the one who picked this time to crush Robin – just a sense of his own freedom in his selfish perverted world of “me first”.
She never saw it coming. She thought that a trip to the Psychiatrist and a new prescription would protect her. Robin naively thought that love would save the day. She was caught completely off guard. She walked right into the death trap with her heart on a silver platter. The fiend disguised as her husband just threw her heart on the floor and smashed it with the sole of his hunting boot. He never looked back – he just stepped over the carnage as he moved on.
But all was not lost. Like the proverbial Phoenix rising from the ashes, a new Robin was born. This Robin took a while to pull herself together into a whole being. The transformation was not pretty – it was bloody and tear-filled with lots of wailing and cries out for help. It was only after the muddled mess of humanity cried out to God in utter despair that the pieces started taking shape. It wasn’t just one cry to God – it was many. It wasn’t just a simple cry – it was a scream that came from the very depths of her soul. When she gave up fighting on her own and turned everything over to God, the new Robin began to take shape.
The new Robin is still in the midst of transformation. There have been several glitches and “do-overs” that required more tears and attitude adjustments in order to get back on the right track. She is so very far from perfect and will only reach perfection when her real time on this earth is complete. She has scars but they only serve to remind her of the battles she has fought and won with God at her side. There is one thing that is firmly entrenched in this battle scarred woman – a firm knowledge that no matter what any human may do, she is wholly and unconditionally loved by her Father. And THAT gives her the reason to continue to push through the pain of transformation and into her new life.
May God Bless You All.
It wasn’t a natural death. It was a death brought on by years of mental cruelty and heartlessness. It was preceded by years of lying and cheating coupled with put-downs and personal attacks. The years of orders to “suck it up” and “get a hobby” had taken their toll. An earlier brush with death, in the form of a suicide attempt, should have been a warning to Robin B. but she just kept on living with the evil that had pushed her near the breaking point once before.
The death blow came at a moment when Robin B. was already on her knees and in a weakened state. The “murderer” couldn’t have picked a better time to deliver the final punch. There was no remorse on the part of the one who picked this time to crush Robin – just a sense of his own freedom in his selfish perverted world of “me first”.
She never saw it coming. She thought that a trip to the Psychiatrist and a new prescription would protect her. Robin naively thought that love would save the day. She was caught completely off guard. She walked right into the death trap with her heart on a silver platter. The fiend disguised as her husband just threw her heart on the floor and smashed it with the sole of his hunting boot. He never looked back – he just stepped over the carnage as he moved on.
But all was not lost. Like the proverbial Phoenix rising from the ashes, a new Robin was born. This Robin took a while to pull herself together into a whole being. The transformation was not pretty – it was bloody and tear-filled with lots of wailing and cries out for help. It was only after the muddled mess of humanity cried out to God in utter despair that the pieces started taking shape. It wasn’t just one cry to God – it was many. It wasn’t just a simple cry – it was a scream that came from the very depths of her soul. When she gave up fighting on her own and turned everything over to God, the new Robin began to take shape.
The new Robin is still in the midst of transformation. There have been several glitches and “do-overs” that required more tears and attitude adjustments in order to get back on the right track. She is so very far from perfect and will only reach perfection when her real time on this earth is complete. She has scars but they only serve to remind her of the battles she has fought and won with God at her side. There is one thing that is firmly entrenched in this battle scarred woman – a firm knowledge that no matter what any human may do, she is wholly and unconditionally loved by her Father. And THAT gives her the reason to continue to push through the pain of transformation and into her new life.
May God Bless You All.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
It's Official - The Hearing is Over!!!
A big old WHEW - the divorce hearing is over. It was uncomfortable and aggravating but enlightening and eye-opening. It's amazing how someone you have been married to for over 10 years (12 if you count the 2 years we've been separated) can be such a stranger. I'm still shocked at how 2 years can give you some perspective. Instead of pining away upon seeing him, I thought "what did I ever see in him?" and "why did I waste 10 years of my life with such a troll?"
Still don't have the divorce settlement - the judge is going to review the documents and issue a written settlement. I'm just hoping it's enough to cover my attorney's fees. This was never about "getting back" at TheColdOne or trying to take all his money - it was simply about fairness and standing up to a heartless bully who never had anyone fight back against him.
Oh and by the way, since TheColdOne likes to check this blog every day or so to see if I've said anything about him, here is a direct message to him...
I may have been getting "rounder and rounder" while fighting depression but I can lose the weight. You, on the other hand, cannot change your lying black heart or the ugliness that is your soul. One day you will be called on to explain the hateful and evil things you have said and done - And you won't be able to hide that from The One who will be demanding an explanation!
In the meantime, I'm popping the cork on the champagne tonight and we're having a mighty celebration! CHEERS!
Still don't have the divorce settlement - the judge is going to review the documents and issue a written settlement. I'm just hoping it's enough to cover my attorney's fees. This was never about "getting back" at TheColdOne or trying to take all his money - it was simply about fairness and standing up to a heartless bully who never had anyone fight back against him.
Oh and by the way, since TheColdOne likes to check this blog every day or so to see if I've said anything about him, here is a direct message to him...
I may have been getting "rounder and rounder" while fighting depression but I can lose the weight. You, on the other hand, cannot change your lying black heart or the ugliness that is your soul. One day you will be called on to explain the hateful and evil things you have said and done - And you won't be able to hide that from The One who will be demanding an explanation!
In the meantime, I'm popping the cork on the champagne tonight and we're having a mighty celebration! CHEERS!
Thursday, September 16, 2010
The Letters We Wear
In the movie 28 Days, Sandra Bullock's character is required to wear a sign around her neck identifying one of her character flaws. In the book, The Scarlet Letter, those who had commited adultery were required to wear a scarlet "R" on their clothes. In Nazi Germany, Jews were required to wear a Star of David on their clothing so they could be easily identified as Jewish.
Those of us going through major life changes or suffering from depression feel like we are wearing a sign of some sort, even though it is invisible. I will never forget going to the grocery store with my mom 2 days before I moved out of the home I shared with TheColdOne and into my little townhouse. I was already in a fog and just completely overwhelmed. Mom wanted to make sure that I at least had the basics when I moved in and frankly I just didn't care if I had anything to eat or not.
Walking through the grocery store, I felt like I had a flashing neon "D" on top of my head. The "D" stood for a lot of things - Divorced, Depressed, Damaged. I imagined children pointing at my "D" asking their parents "what's wrong with her?" Old people were just tsk-tsk'ing as they passed by while people my age just looked at me with pure pity oozing out of every pore of their body. As we continued through the store, my head dropped lower and lower until my chin was almost on the floor. Of course, there was no "D" on my head and no one was staring, etc BUT my head was drooped lower than when we entered the store. I let my inner emotions control my reactions which in turn reinforced those negative emotions. You truly are what you feel especially when going through a crisis.
During this whole separation and divorce drama, I've worn many different letters. Sometimes it was a big fat "F" for "failure". There were times when it was a "S" for "Stupid" or an "L" for "Loser". There were times where I would wear the letter for several days in a row like a comfy sweater. Then there were times when my letter changed multiple times through out the day. The letters were a great accessory for attire during my frequent pity parties.
It was only after I turned my focus on God and my faith that things began to change. I started CHOOSING the meaning of the letters I wear. Instead of "Stupid", my S stood for "special". My "F" turned into Faith. But most importantly my "L" turned into "Loved". By choosing how I identified myself, instead of letting my emotions define me, I began the long road to learning to love myself again. I'm still on that long road and probably will be until the day I die - but at least now I know that I am on the right track. Oh there are those days were I slip up and throw on an "I" for "ignorant" but they are few and far between.
So throw off all those negative letters and signs you are wearing. Make a choice to identify yourself positively. Ask God to help you - He loves you and wants you to love yourself. After all, you were wonderfully made by His loving hands.
You'll be amazed at how just changing the meaning of one letter in the alphabet can improve your whole outlook. By the way, my "D" still stands for "divorced" but I wear that as my survivor's badge of honor.
May God Continue to Bless You All.
Those of us going through major life changes or suffering from depression feel like we are wearing a sign of some sort, even though it is invisible. I will never forget going to the grocery store with my mom 2 days before I moved out of the home I shared with TheColdOne and into my little townhouse. I was already in a fog and just completely overwhelmed. Mom wanted to make sure that I at least had the basics when I moved in and frankly I just didn't care if I had anything to eat or not.
Walking through the grocery store, I felt like I had a flashing neon "D" on top of my head. The "D" stood for a lot of things - Divorced, Depressed, Damaged. I imagined children pointing at my "D" asking their parents "what's wrong with her?" Old people were just tsk-tsk'ing as they passed by while people my age just looked at me with pure pity oozing out of every pore of their body. As we continued through the store, my head dropped lower and lower until my chin was almost on the floor. Of course, there was no "D" on my head and no one was staring, etc BUT my head was drooped lower than when we entered the store. I let my inner emotions control my reactions which in turn reinforced those negative emotions. You truly are what you feel especially when going through a crisis.
During this whole separation and divorce drama, I've worn many different letters. Sometimes it was a big fat "F" for "failure". There were times when it was a "S" for "Stupid" or an "L" for "Loser". There were times where I would wear the letter for several days in a row like a comfy sweater. Then there were times when my letter changed multiple times through out the day. The letters were a great accessory for attire during my frequent pity parties.
It was only after I turned my focus on God and my faith that things began to change. I started CHOOSING the meaning of the letters I wear. Instead of "Stupid", my S stood for "special". My "F" turned into Faith. But most importantly my "L" turned into "Loved". By choosing how I identified myself, instead of letting my emotions define me, I began the long road to learning to love myself again. I'm still on that long road and probably will be until the day I die - but at least now I know that I am on the right track. Oh there are those days were I slip up and throw on an "I" for "ignorant" but they are few and far between.
So throw off all those negative letters and signs you are wearing. Make a choice to identify yourself positively. Ask God to help you - He loves you and wants you to love yourself. After all, you were wonderfully made by His loving hands.
You'll be amazed at how just changing the meaning of one letter in the alphabet can improve your whole outlook. By the way, my "D" still stands for "divorced" but I wear that as my survivor's badge of honor.
May God Continue to Bless You All.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Your Life is Only as Strong as Your Weakest Commitment
This was such a profound Daily Hope from Rick Warren at Purpose Driven Life that to try to post snippets would not do it justice. Here is the message as it came in my email this AM. It is certainly thought provoking and something to ponder...
Don't Let Carelessness Weaken Your Life
by Rick Warren
The Biblical strongman Samson was very careless with his commitments. He made a vow, saying "God, I'm going to live for You." And to remind him of his vow to God, Samson promised to never cut his hair.
But problem is that Samson refused to take himself seriously or to take God seriously. He thought everything was a big game and so he toyed with temptation: "How close can I get to the fire and not get burned?"
We see this clearly in his relationship with Delilah (Judges 16). She continually tempts Samson while asking him to tell her the secret of his great strength. And rather than fleeing temptation, Samson carelessly plays a game with Delilah, not once, but four times, and each time he compromises just a little bit more.
Because Samson was playing a game, he hardly noticed the step that took him from being close to the fire to actually being in the fire.
"Having put him to sleep on her lap, she called a man to shave off the seven braids of his hair... and so his strength left him. The she called, "Samson, the Philitines are upon you." He awoke from his sleep and thought, "I'll go out as before and shake myself free." But he did not know that the Lord has left him." Judges 16:19-20
"He did not know the Lord had left him." That is one of the most tragic statements in the Bible. He was unaware of what was happening; how his lifestyle was perpetually weakening him little by little. It was a gradual process. He had assumed he would always be strong.
Nobody ever plans to be a failure. It just comes on graually. Nobody says, "I'm going to be a drug addict" or "I want to break up my marriage" or "I think I'll destroy my health." But it starts with one little thing and builds and builds until the point that one day we wake up and say "What happened? This isn't living for God."
What's the lesson we can learn from Samson's life? Strong people keep their commitments. They guard their commitments. They don't play games with their commitments.
Consider this: Your life is only as strong as your weakest commitment.
What are you committed to ? Are you committed to the Lord? Are you committed to a church? Are you committed to your family? That's where your strength comes from.
Very profound insights by Pastor Rick Warren. Ones that we should all take to heart and learn from. It's hard to avoid the pull of temptation. You may think "just this once" but that one time multiplies faster than Mr. and Mrs. Bunny Rabbit. By letting your guard down and giving in to temptation, you are opening up a little place in your heart for Satan to get a foothold. It won't be long before Satan has wiggled himself right into your heart and has control over your life.
No one is perfect. That is why God gave his only Son that we should not perish but have everlasting life. BUT we can't just keep breaking our commitments without consequences - your marriage falls apart, you lose your job or Heaven forbid, your life. All because you couldn't say "no" and keep your commitment. No doubt when all is said and done, that moment of pleasure or happiness will not be worth all the pain and agony that will follow.
So pray for strength and courage to follow your commitments. And close up that breach in your heart where Satan's finger is searching for something to hold on to.
May God Bless You.
Don't Let Carelessness Weaken Your Life
by Rick Warren
The Biblical strongman Samson was very careless with his commitments. He made a vow, saying "God, I'm going to live for You." And to remind him of his vow to God, Samson promised to never cut his hair.
But problem is that Samson refused to take himself seriously or to take God seriously. He thought everything was a big game and so he toyed with temptation: "How close can I get to the fire and not get burned?"
We see this clearly in his relationship with Delilah (Judges 16). She continually tempts Samson while asking him to tell her the secret of his great strength. And rather than fleeing temptation, Samson carelessly plays a game with Delilah, not once, but four times, and each time he compromises just a little bit more.
Because Samson was playing a game, he hardly noticed the step that took him from being close to the fire to actually being in the fire.
"Having put him to sleep on her lap, she called a man to shave off the seven braids of his hair... and so his strength left him. The she called, "Samson, the Philitines are upon you." He awoke from his sleep and thought, "I'll go out as before and shake myself free." But he did not know that the Lord has left him." Judges 16:19-20
"He did not know the Lord had left him." That is one of the most tragic statements in the Bible. He was unaware of what was happening; how his lifestyle was perpetually weakening him little by little. It was a gradual process. He had assumed he would always be strong.
Nobody ever plans to be a failure. It just comes on graually. Nobody says, "I'm going to be a drug addict" or "I want to break up my marriage" or "I think I'll destroy my health." But it starts with one little thing and builds and builds until the point that one day we wake up and say "What happened? This isn't living for God."
What's the lesson we can learn from Samson's life? Strong people keep their commitments. They guard their commitments. They don't play games with their commitments.
Consider this: Your life is only as strong as your weakest commitment.
What are you committed to ? Are you committed to the Lord? Are you committed to a church? Are you committed to your family? That's where your strength comes from.
Very profound insights by Pastor Rick Warren. Ones that we should all take to heart and learn from. It's hard to avoid the pull of temptation. You may think "just this once" but that one time multiplies faster than Mr. and Mrs. Bunny Rabbit. By letting your guard down and giving in to temptation, you are opening up a little place in your heart for Satan to get a foothold. It won't be long before Satan has wiggled himself right into your heart and has control over your life.
No one is perfect. That is why God gave his only Son that we should not perish but have everlasting life. BUT we can't just keep breaking our commitments without consequences - your marriage falls apart, you lose your job or Heaven forbid, your life. All because you couldn't say "no" and keep your commitment. No doubt when all is said and done, that moment of pleasure or happiness will not be worth all the pain and agony that will follow.
So pray for strength and courage to follow your commitments. And close up that breach in your heart where Satan's finger is searching for something to hold on to.
May God Bless You.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
The Collateral Damage of Divorce
But this picture of Boston with his first fish at the Bass Masters Fishing Tournament makes me a bit melancholy. Seeing him holding the fish reminds me of my granddaughter, Olivia, and how she loved to fish and her Little Mermaid fishing pole. She was 4 the last time I saw her. We finished off the afternoon with her sitting in my lap reading a book to her. That was over a year ago.
Thanks to all the nastiness involved in the divorce from TheColdOne, I don't get to see Olivia now - she is actually the daughter of TheColdOne's son. Since Olivia's mom and dad are listed as witnesses against me in the divorce hearing, I can't open myself or my life up to her parents right now. Thus - no contact with her. I send her cards and presents but don't hear anything back. But that's okay - I will continue to send cards and presents because Olivia will always be my granddaughter - I was there when she came into the world and have always been her grandma.
Sigh... I even had a reflective thought about TheColdOne when I saw this picture of Boston. One of the first things that popped into my head was how much TheColdOne would enjoy spending time with Boston. He was always a good granddaddy and Boston would definitely keep him entertained. The love of outdoors would fit right in with TheColdOne especially with Boston's happy-go-lucky attitude. Sadly TheColdOne dismissed Boston as "Robin's grandson" in the document splitting up the possessions. He never truly loved Boston the way that I love Olivia so I don't know why I would even think about it.
TheColdOne tossed my children aside much like he did to their mother despite the fact that they both thought of him as more of a Dad than their biological father. He even hot-footed it out of a local restaurant when my daughter walked in to meet her boyfriend for lunch. No greeting or acknowledgment of her presence - just left quickly. My daughter would not have made a scene or been impolite - she actually was a bit hurt that he refused to even acknowledge her.
Oh well - I know this is all part of the divorce. The collateral damage is vast - it doesn't just involve the two divorcing parties. That is the saddest part of this whole situation.
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